I’m sat here, in a little bit of a tearful mess. why? i have no idea. My sister got married yesterday. I have an amazing boyfriend . I love my job. But still i feel like hell, unable to get out of bed. And i hate it. It’s been mustering and brewing for a few weeks, i was just waiting for the fall. When this happens, i let people down. A lot of people, who don’t deserve it, because i can’t cope. Because if i force myself to do things i get worse, and then let more people down. So, i would like to say a few apologies, but they probably won’t make a difference. I’m just sorry for being so awful and crap.
1) sorry to my sister’s mother in law. I know i was meant to help you, i just couldn’t get out of bed, and when i did, i cried. I don’t like it when people see me like this. Sorry for being selfish
2) Sorry to my sister. I am sorry i left your wedding early. I just couldn’t cope anymore.
3) I’m sorry to my other half. I promised to help him today, and i tried, but i just can’t. This man is the most amazing person who you’ve ever met, but all i do is let him down. A lot. The truth is, i don’t deserve him, and i really wouldn’t blame him if he said ‘see ya, you stupid. selfish bitch’. I really wouldn’t, because to be honest, i probably deserve it. He deserves better.
WOAAAHHHHHHHH here comes the water works. I just want to be okay. But after 6 years, i probably won’t be okay.
So i’m sorry. It won’t make a difference but thats all i can do.